Mumpsimus' Musings or Tales from the Tap Room - No. 1

also featuring Dave Javue, Miss Ellenie, Phil Osophy and Geoffrey Kacirk's Forgotten English.

(ever wondered what Mumpsimus means?  Take a look in >Links > Community Links >Mumpsimus) 

Before the present bout of unrest among our postal persons, I received a handwritten missive in large childish script and unstamped, which entailed a £1.24 charge, which I unsuccessfully demanded back.  It begins:-

Dear Friend, Offer Service Repair House, Construction House Pour with Cement and Gypsum; Sculpture in Timber and Stone.

It goes on;  Hello, friendly Polish male seeking women (18 - 40 yrs) to life and married couple.  Needless to say, it went unanswered.

On the subject of letters, I once wrote to President Chirac at the Elysee Palace asking for his assistance in seeking EU funding for the removal of the "Arc de Triomphe" from Paris to a more suitable site - for where was the triumph for the French? - they lost that particular round of nastiness.

I didn't receive a reply from that rude man, but it was copied to Downing Street from where I did - from that nice Mr Blair.  (Tell us what he said - Ed 1).  I intend to repeat the exercise, this time to Mr Sarkozy and Mr Brown.

A couple of thoughts:-

... on pollution, I've just been given the news that my sixth grandchild is on the way.  These really are the worst polluters on earth, and the enemy of all that's peaceful.

... if Bodium Castle was built in stages, an apter name would be Podium Castle! 

Dave Javue -  ....seen it somewhere before......   

Mainly amusing typos appearing in published works.  Contributions, with the author's permission, welcom.  (Look now I've done one!  -  Ed 1) 

appearing in issue no. 365 of the Parish magazine - October 2007

reported a few years ago in the East Kent Gazette "The Women's Institute craft meeting was enthralled by Mrs ....'s demonstrations and descriptions of (g)love making" 

Miss Ellenie 

 -  anything you like from interesting inscriptions to words of wisdom to riddles, limericks, poetry, short stories, literary puzzles or conundra

Aoccdring to a rscheearchr at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers of a wrod are aanrrged, the olny iprmoetnt tihing is taht the frist and lsat ltteer is in the rghit pclae.   The rset can be a toatl jmulbe and you can siltl raed it wouthit porbelm.  Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed ervey lteter by itslef but the wrod as a wlohe.

Phil Osophy

Forgotten English  -  vanishing vocabulary and folklore by Jeffrey Kacirk

Pulpatoon - a dish made of rabbits, fowl, etc., in a crust of forced [minced and highly seasoned] meat - in use 1770

Sough - the sound of wind amongst the trees, or of one sleeping - recorded 1851

Curtain-lecture - a lecture or homily delivered by a wife to her husband when in bed, upon the shortcomings and errors of his daily life - in use 1811